"The name Dwarf, used mainly in regions surrounding large deposits of gold or huge fire-pulsating dragons, is street-slang for Gynaecologist. A Dwarf at the height of their career can earn anything up to 1 million gold pieces per expedition. The process of studying the vagina, long thought to be a sure way to make yourself go blind, often involves deep undercover work in hard to reach and extremely inhospitable regions. Dwarfs excel at their work."

"Miners can be separated into three widely known types. These are:

Welshmen: the most common breed of miner

Dwarfs: the heartiest and cutest of the breeds and

The Village People: known for their fine Disco ensembles and homosexual exploits, but generally accepted as the superior breed of miners. It was through their grit and determination that coal was brought 100% out of the ground and it was from their rousing lyrics and strong sexual awareness that progress was finally squeezed from the abscesses of history it had long resided in."